Jade Helm 15 and Counting

Run for the hills. Git chur ammo now. Obama is a comin'. You are doomed to FEMA camps in Wal-mart stores. Jade Helm 15 is the conspiracy you have been waiting for. Federal troops are on your doorstep. The Plan says they will be there July through September, but THAT is just what they want you to think. Or at least what Alex Jones wants you to think. The tunnels connecting the six hurriedly shuttered Wal-mart stores across the nation are being dug at a furious pace.

Texans ought to be happy being interned in a Walmart store. Everything they need is right there. I've seen the pix of the beautiful women there and the suave men. Who could ask for better.  No need to go home to spouse and children. All the beef jerky and Pepsi you can consume is at your disposal. and the Dew. Who can forget the Dew?

Of course Wal-mart is fully denying and involvement as one would expect.

"Wal-Mart issued a statement Monday to TPM dismissing 'rumors' that tunnels were being built by the U.S. military beneath closed stores in an attempt to launch a takeover of Texas. 'There’s no truth to the rumors,' Wal-Mart spokesperson Lorenzo Lopez told TPM via email."

Can I get a "Yeah, Right!" from the peanut gallery? The silly buggers in Texas, especially the new Head Goober, Gov. Greg Abbott (R) felt it necessary to order the Texas National Guard to monitor the US Army operations for clues that they were about to institute Martial Law. Actually, this was a misheard statement. He thought they said Marital Law and he thought the LGBTQRNMTCX folks were about to invoke the Wrath of God with Obama's Blessings.

"We need to stop these sinners before God sees that we allowed them to inherit each others property, visit in the hospital and obtain health insurance from some other LGBTQRNMTCX individual. THAT would undermine our stance against people having access to medical services from patriotic Doctors, nurses and orderlies."

It is unfortunate that the name Jade Helm is so similar to the Sci-fi TV series Charlie Jade where government and corporate conspiracies abound.  Otherwise the Texas insanity would be non-existent. Well, maybe not.

No matter what you say, what you do, there are those people who will "hear what they want to hear and disregard the rest". It just goes to show that you can't argue with a twit.