Witnessing Silly Buggers

I got up later than usual this Saturday morning. I did my usual morning routines and headed out for food shopping. It was fortuitous that I left just when I did.

The Jehovah's Witnesses were swarming this morning. Usually there are two or four of them walking in pairs to confront the neighborhood in serial fashion. Many times the JW Alert goes out and people know to not answer the door bell. I have disconnected my doorbell years ago since the only people to even ring it were the Witnesses.

As I said, the Witnesses were swarming. While I drove up the street weaving left and right between the pods of well dresses Witnesses, I counted 24 people with more arriving to park behind the last car in the line. While walking to your door they are quite diminutive, but trying to stop them once you let them get talking, it is good luck Charlie to you. "The only winning move is not to play" as was said of the game, Tic-tac-toe, where two knowledgeable players will always play to a draw. The only thing is you waste a lot of time playing.

Once while I was working on remodeling a house in my former neighborhood, I paused to speak with a man who happened by on two crutches and one leg. He was a affable fellow and the conversation was interesting. Then he paused and said, "Oh, here comes Jehovah's Witnesses. Do you want me to get rid of them for you?" I said, Yes, and he stood in their path and engaged them in comparative theological rhetoric. I turned away to get back to my work while he engaged them and played out the Dr.Seuss story of the ZAX "a South-Going Zax and a North-Going Zax seem determined to butt heads on the prairie of Prax." Their conversation lasted four hours before the Witnesses finally turned back from whence they came.

Therefore, dodging the Jehovah's Witnesses is not rude, it is far less rude than you will need to become to stop the ongoing monologue that they will mount. They must be some sort of silly buggers to keep canvassing the same street several times a year, year after year, without any success. I guess they believe they obtain some kind of grace in the trying because otherwise they are engaging in a monumental waste of time.

By the time I returned from shopping, they were all gone.