Silly Cement

The driver of a Toyota was headed east on E St in DC today. Barricades separated the curb lane from the center. Workers were filling in the trench they had made to bury new fiber optic cables. The slot in the pavement was about 12 inches wide and ran variously near the center of the lanes. 

The slot had been mostly filled in and was being paved over. This anxious drive did not want to wait in the line of traffic to make his intended right turn. Sooo  he took the seemingly clear curb lane outside the barricade while straddling his wheels on each side of the slot. 

When he approached the intersection he started his right turn and dropped his driver side tires into the still fresh concrete that filled the slot. There he remained stuck fast in the soft surface

Three workmen stood around the car pointing at the obvious silly bugger faux pas.  We riders on the bus had ourselves a good chuckle as we inched by in the afternoon DC traffic. 

Witnessing Silly Buggers

I got up later than usual this Saturday morning. I did my usual morning routines and headed out for food shopping. It was fortuitous that I left just when I did.

The Jehovah's Witnesses were swarming this morning. Usually there are two or four of them walking in pairs to confront the neighborhood in serial fashion. Many times the JW Alert goes out and people know to not answer the door bell. I have disconnected my doorbell years ago since the only people to even ring it were the Witnesses.

As I said, the Witnesses were swarming. While I drove up the street weaving left and right between the pods of well dresses Witnesses, I counted 24 people with more arriving to park behind the last car in the line. While walking to your door they are quite diminutive, but trying to stop them once you let them get talking, it is good luck Charlie to you. "The only winning move is not to play" as was said of the game, Tic-tac-toe, where two knowledgeable players will always play to a draw. The only thing is you waste a lot of time playing.

Once while I was working on remodeling a house in my former neighborhood, I paused to speak with a man who happened by on two crutches and one leg. He was a affable fellow and the conversation was interesting. Then he paused and said, "Oh, here comes Jehovah's Witnesses. Do you want me to get rid of them for you?" I said, Yes, and he stood in their path and engaged them in comparative theological rhetoric. I turned away to get back to my work while he engaged them and played out the Dr.Seuss story of the ZAX "a South-Going Zax and a North-Going Zax seem determined to butt heads on the prairie of Prax." Their conversation lasted four hours before the Witnesses finally turned back from whence they came.

Therefore, dodging the Jehovah's Witnesses is not rude, it is far less rude than you will need to become to stop the ongoing monologue that they will mount. They must be some sort of silly buggers to keep canvassing the same street several times a year, year after year, without any success. I guess they believe they obtain some kind of grace in the trying because otherwise they are engaging in a monumental waste of time.

By the time I returned from shopping, they were all gone.

More Fake Beards

Possibly using the Gloucester bank robber as is role model, a man was arrested in Pittsburgh for a series of bank robberies. His MO? He wore a fake beard OVER is real beard as a disguise. No word was issued regarding his getaway transportation mode. The "police and the FBI believed they were chasing a serial robbery suspect because of how the heists were carried out and the suspect's red beard." He was wanted for a series of six robberies. So how red was it?

Silly Bugger Steak Eater

This Texas steak eating competition is the most obscene of the food eating contests that ever has been seen. This comes especially at the time that Republican Legislatures and Legislators are busy sponsoring and passing bills that limit the food items that people who receive SNAP funds are permitted to buy. "No steak or lobster for you," says the indignant analpores in the legislature.

Molly Schuyler ate the meals of 54 low-income people in one sitting of 20 MINUTES. And this time is not her first. "She broke her own record..." the MSN.com story reported.

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There must be something in the human psyche that revels in the consumption of everything while others do without.

The more traditional competition eating of hotdogs, hard-boiled eggs, and cherry pies does not seem as obscene as steak or let's say, shrimp. Such endeavors are likewise silly bugger shit especially in light of the attitudes against all those "lazy, job-adverse, welfare queens who have all the babies just to get the monthly check" people.

In addition to this winner of the Ms. Gluttony Award Texas, there were other contestants who did not win. They too consumed 100s of meals worth of steak and potatoes that could have fed a lot of children and their low-income parents. The shame is not limited to females who undertake this silly bugger example of conspicuous consumption. The men too are equally guilty.

420

Happy 420 Day.

Dad'isms

My father had a way with words that always seemed to be a bit on the silly buggerish side. "I'll see that when I believe it." "I'd rather be lucky than good." "I don't mind you calling a spade a spade, but I do mind you calling it a fucking shovel. Especially in front of your mother."

He also was fond of saying "love you too much." Recently I discovered several songs that propagate that sentiment. Doc Watson sang "Sometimes I think I love you too much." And much more recently, Sara Watkins sings the same sentiment in her recording "Too Much."

This phrase has become entrenched in our family vernacular. It is far better than some things I've heard one person say to another.

A message to MARC passengers regarding the designation of a Quiet Car On-board MARC Trains?

A message to MARC passengers regarding the designation of a Quiet Car onboard MARC Trains?

While the use of the Quiet Cars is permitted on MARC trains, passengers are reminded that this must be done responsibly. We have seen an increase in the number of complaints about loud talking (that above a whisper) on trains and disruptive behavior that has included loud talking, profanity, and in some cases, physical altercations that has been associated with passengers trying to self-enforce the Quiet Cars rules.

Use of the Quiet Cars on MARC trains is a privilege, not a right. The MARC Train Service reserves the right to restrict usage of Quiet Cars if passenger behavior is not appropriate and remove from the train those individuals that fail to abide by MARC rules and guidelines. This includes the use of profanity, refusal to follow instructions from conductors, and intimidation or threats to other passengers. The incident of last Thursday exemplifies the problem. A passenger who was incensed by a conversation that he deemed too loud and inappropriate to MARC Quiet Car rules gave the offending passenger the finger. The passenger stood up and shouted, “Keep your shush-finger for your children.” Where upon a hissy-fit played out among several passengers ending with a swat to the nose and the train crew having to send the unruly passengers to opposite ends of the car for a time out.

If Quiet Car decorum cannot be maintained, MARC reserves the right to discontinue the designation. Passengers are also reminded that hissy-fits and driving do not mix--MTA, State and local law enforcement will enforce anti-hissy-fit driving laws.

We value you as customers and thank you for helping us maintain a safe and pleasant atmosphere on board our trains.

Self Penalizing Misdemeanor (in the Subway)

Self Penalizing Misdemeanor (in the Subway)

Young boys have a knack for figuring out what it takes to be silly buggers. All one has to do is look at a situation through the eyes of their youth, and viola a whole new event can unfold in a few seconds.

Two such young boys were fooling around at the bottom of an up platform escalator at the Metro Center rail station in DC. The one boy backed up to the moving handrail and tried to straddle it for a ride up. It momentarily lifted him before he slid off. Walking about quite oddly he said to his friend's question, "Oooh, I got a monster wedgie." What more can I say?

I am home from my vacation in Apalachicola

I am home from my vacation in  Apalachicola, no thanks to American Airlines who would have left us in Charlotte if it were up to them. I know I am home because on my way from my parking space to the Bank where I work, there were maybe ten bag people in front of the library smoking a joint, and one of them asked me if I wanted a hit. And I am wearing sandals with my winter coat...

Religious Freedom Restoration Act

Mt. Pleasant, MI – July 11, 2016
December 9, 2014 at 11:29am

The recently passed "Religious Freedom Restoration Act – 2014" was tested this week when Mildred Weeks died at the scene of a multiple vehicle collision on US 127 just south of Mt. Pleasant. During the initial triage conducted by EMT Paramedic, Jedidiah James, he determined that Ms. Weeks was not of the same denomination as himself as evidenced by the shape of the gold cross she wore on a necklace around her neck.

Said Jedidiah, "I could see that she was of a heretical Christian sect that did not believe as my people do about the relationship among the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We are deeply religious and do not accept such teachings as legitimate."

When asked if he was sorry that Weeks had died, he responded, "that is not up to me. It was God's will.

The county coroner determined that Weeks died of acute blood loss due to her otherwise moderate injuries. "Prompt attention by EMS personnel would surely have saved her body, if not her soul, and she would be here today propagating the listening to music and the wearing of bright colors."

Vehicular homicide charges are being considered by the State Prosecutor against the driver whose SUV struck the Week's Prius. Quoting from biblical verse, Seth Adams said, "it's an 'eye for an eye' in this situation. Someone must pay and James is protected by the Law and his religious freedoms.

Random Memory Recovered

This memory resurfaced after nearly 60 years. The impetus for its recall was a soup can at lunch where I work where the label slid off leaving the bare steel of the can in my hand. Suddenly the long dormant synapses all fired off in succession and accessed that day so many decades ago. At age about 2 or 3, one doesn't exercise much in the way of critical thinking.

In my parents' house we had series of pantry shelves adjacent to the cellar steps. On that day for no apparent reason I felt it necessary to sit on those steps and peel the labels off all of the canned goods.

Two collateral memories followed in that succession. One was seeing all the cans with labels tied back on with string and rubber bands lined up on the shelves. My mother had matched the labels as best as a homemaker could do before the food manufacturers started printing dot-matrix codes and descriptions right on the metal bottoms. Campbell's Soup cans were all the same size. Fruit Cocktail, canned peaches, green beans, limas, and peas each had a similar uniform size.

The other memory was that for next few weeks our meals were a surprise. Whatever was in the can that was opened, THAT is what was for dinner. My grandfather, the old Swede, had a word for me for which I have never learned the origins. I was a clofinger. Today my sister would just say I was being a silly bugger.

Carrying Things Too Far

On my way home from a holiday visit in Pittsburgh I was driving through the Oakland section of the city where several Universities such as Pitt and Carnegie Mellon are situated. Along the side of the street there was a 40-ish looking woman out walking her dog on the very mild day in April. The sun was shining and the early spring chill was out of the air.

Now here is where thing get silly. The dog was a black poodle with all the foo-foo fur trimming that leaves little balls of fur on his feet, neck, tail, etc. We have not gotten to the silly part yet.

The woman who was walking this poodle was wearing black pants and black shirt. Her black boots had fuzzy black pom-poms surrounding her ankles like a hairy fetlock. On the cuffs of the sleeves of her shirt she had similar fuzzy accoutrement. Now with all this "style" already in full regalia, to top it all off, her dark hair was up in a tight curl perm. To say her dog looked just like her would be an error of who looked like whom. She obviously patterned herself after the dog after having the dog shaved.