NASA Restarts the Sun

After the fire went out in the Sun a week ago, NASA Engineers finally got the pilot light re-lit and have fired up it up to full temperature. A special heroes' welcome is planned for Bruce Willis, Morgan Freedman, Sam Rockwell and Tommy Lee Jones for their selfless acts of bravery in delivering two thermonuclear devices recently acquired from North Korea and Iran in marathon negotiations. A memorial service is also in the works for Steve Buscemi who tragically did not return.